Cadet Rules

These rules were pulled from a series of postings on the Rapier net. I quickly acknowledge my lack of responsibility for having created ANY of these.


NOTE: Added rules 23+ in April, 2011 at the prompting of some wayward Cadet. smile

  1. The person that escalates last, wins.
  2. If you are female and your Don is male, remember one word, “dimples.”
  3. Hang around your Don (a lot!) and just smile knowingly. (Hi Mouse :-))
  4. If caught, blame someone else. This won’t get you out of trouble but you will at least have company when you get taken down.
  5. Whenever possible, hang around with people that look guiltier than you.
  6. When in doubt, blame other cadets.
  7. Ask your grand-Don what your Don was like as a cadet.
  8. Keep score with your cadet brothers and sisters on how many times you can make your Don either groan or speechless. Bonus points if your Don looks in the air and screams, “WHY ME!?!”
  9. When your Don asks why you did something, reply that you are following his example of what a cadet should be like.
  10. Just for fun, tell your Don that the Queen is looking for him.
  11. Always maintain plausible deniability
  12. There is no shame in being the one that comes up with the prank and allow others to follow up on it.
  13. Occasionally, look at your Don across the field and smirk.
  14. Cluster together with a bunch of Cadets and whisper (bonus here is that you make a bunch of Dons nervous).
  15. Never, ever, allow yourself to be outnumbered by the Dons…
  16. Tell your Don that his other cadets are up to something and that he should really check up on them.
  17. When your Don asks you to get him a beer, shake it up before giving it to him.
  18. Always run in packs, it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
  19. If your Don threatens retribution, inform him “then I will just have to make it worth it, won’t I?”
  20. Find your Don’s last fried nerve, then tickle it.
  21. When you are on the field against your Don, just before the Marshal calls lay on, put pool chalk on the tip of your blade.
  22. Heckle whenever, however, and with whomever, at a moments notice.
  23. Whenever possible, stand behind and above your Don, they just can’t carry on a conversation with you like that.
  24. Always, and I mean always, when fighting your Don in a tournament, kill them with a shot that they showed you and/or they use frequently.
  25. If your Don likes to hand out points, for example “That’s one!” learn to keep score, and have a celebration when you get a point.
  26. Interrupt your Don when they’re telling their favorite joke with the punch line.
  27. Remember to always laugh first and loudest when your Don puts his foot in his mouth.
  28. No matter how bad, nasty, ugly, painful, or disgusting things get, there is always escalation.
  29. See number 1.
  30. When signing in at gate mark your don as the responsible adult.
  31. If your Don EVER says, “I want you to create an international incident.” Do it, then return when your Don is in a conversation with other Dons and say loudly, “Okay, I did what you said, Mouse.”
  32. If there is ever any incriminating evidence, give it to another Don. This way you can honestly say, “I promise you, no cadet has it.”
  33. When playing pranks on your Don, your best accomplice is the Queen.
  34. If your Don asks why you did what Don X said (see 31), reply “Well, Don X told me that if I listen to him, he will show me how to be a Don.”
  35. When the herald asks, “Is there any further business before this court?” Step forward with several other cadets, big smile at the Dons, and say “Yes.” This can be done on the spur of the moment and you have a handy supply of scapegoats.
  36. Get your Don to tell stories about what he did as a cadet.
  37. Take notes.
  38. Don’t kidnap your own king.
  39. Don’t fail at kidnapping your own king.
  40. If you failed at kidnapping your own king, make sure everyone else goes down with you.